Less than two weeks ago, Dr. Donda West stridently advised a seminar of single parents/students at Atlanta’s Spelman College, “Know who you are and where you are going.”
Now, she is dead in Los Angeles at the age of 58.
West, wearing a crisp white suit, was the keynote speaker at the Nov. 2 Single Parent
Student Summit, sponsored by Denny’s and the Tom Joyner Foundation. West joined
syndicated radio personality Tom Joyner, Nelson Marchioli, president and CEO of Denny’s, and several others to offer advice and inspiration to the students at the Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Academic Center. Earlier in the day, Joyner and Denny’s announced the restaurant chain’s $80,000 sponsorship of the Foundation’s single parent scholarship.
Myra J., a personality from the Tom Joyner Morning Show, who offers her tips for single mothers every Monday, hosted the event. The other featured speakers were Ericka Dunlap, Miss America 2004, Rev. Charles White, deputy chief of field operations for the NAACP, and Debra Smithart-Oglesby, chair of Denny’s board of directors.
West reminisced about her days working at Spelman, and later at Morris Brown College. She worked in the admissions office at Morris Brown as a recruiter, and later as an English professor. She met Ray West, a photojournalist, who later became her husband and the father of successful recording artist, Kanye. She recalled how she and Ray divorced after Kanye was about 18 months, but she has now regrets.
“I look back at those days and wonder how I made it,” she said. “I’d have to decide whether to pay my light bill or my gas bill. … I knew I would make it because my mom was feisty. We grew up in Oklahoma City … and I remember she was the kind of woman who didn’t let anything get to her. She’d take me into the ‘whites only’ bathroom or drink form the ‘whites only’ water fountain and just wait for someone to say something.”
The bespectacled West fumbled with her notes throughout her presentation and kept a
watchful eye on a colleague who kept track of her time for her. As she apologized for taking a bit longer than the time alloted, West remained focused on completing her speech.
West urged single parents to stay in contact with the father or mother of their children. Then she offered then tips:
1) Know who you are and where you’re going.
2) Don’t let nobody stand in your way. “Get the terrible toilers out of your way.
Surround yourself with positive people.”
3) Expect the best, but always be prepared for the worse.
4) Determine early on who and what is important to you. “Growing up I never said I
wanted children. So I set out to be parent there was and be the best parent you
could be. .. I was passionate about being a mother. … Find your support and reach
out. And you’l be surprised how people will reach back.” West recalled something her father told her, “We’ll make a her a masterpiece.” “Be conscious of what you say to your children because they remember everything you say.”
5) Don’t be afraid to ask questions.
6) Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. When doors are shut in your face, open another
door.
7) Be passionate and get fired up. Find out what your passion is and do it. Do
whatever you need to get what you want.
8) Have no fear. “Every time fear raises its ugly head, push it down,” she said
motioning with her hand in a downward direction. “That’s right push it down.”
9) In all y getting get understanding. “I don’t know if that’s in the Bible or not, but
get into your kids heads. Make them talk to you. Make a connection with them.
Your kids will always be your kids; get tight with them. Remember, your spouse
may not always be your spouse, but your kids will always be your kids.”
10) Have unshakeable faith. “Don’t have any doubts.”
